What is the deal with Santa?

So I had extra kids today from the daycare.  Theresa had the nerve to take a day off, and so a couple of the parents asked if I could fill in.  They were quickly driving me crazy (I think within the first ten minutes...or was that seconds?), so I knew I had to do something.  We decided to take a trip to go see Santa and fill him in on the many wishes that we had.

Apparently, this was quite the adventure that posed many questions.  Some of them had answers, and some did not.  So here are a few things for us to ponder.

"What did Santa drive?"

Well, that's an easy one.  He came in a sleigh right?  Simple enough to answer.

"Where is it parked?  I didn't see it in the parking lot."

Good question.  I mean, does Santa get special VIP parking?  It would obviously have to be huge what with the giant sleigh and all the reindeer.  Plus, you would think you could smell them from a mile away.  And we went to the Monroe mall, and trust me, for a mall that can be walked in it's entirety in about 3 minutes flat, the parking is not extensive.  We drove all through the parking lot looking for the sleigh he came in on, but I sure couldn't find it.  So that one remains a mystery.

"Why didn't Santa say Ho, Ho, Ho to me?"

I don't know.  He probably said it before we got there.

"Why does Santa say Ho, Ho, Ho?"

OK, seriously?  Where do they come up with this stuff?  I don't know!  Because that's what we've all been told he says.  Can't you just accept it like everyone else and move on?

"Why was Santa wearing big pants?"

Because he has a bowl full of jelly.  Yeah, as soon as that came out of my mouth I instantly regretted it because I'm sure you can imagine the barrage of questions that came with that one!

OK, you know what?  Let's not talk about Santa anymore.  Let's listen to some Christmas music on the radio.  Maybe we can even sing along!  Yeah, great idea.  ♫ Rudolph, the red nosed reindeer...had a very shiny nose. ♫

"Why does Rudolph have a lighted nose?"

"Where is Rudolph, I can't see him?"

"I can't see him either!"

Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!