In This Corner, VERONICA!...And In This Corner, EVAN!

...and it ends in a TKO to Mommy!

Before I tell this story, I'll start with a little bit of background information. First thing you need to know, I am NOT a morning person. My level of rage can go from nothing to off the charts within seconds early in the morning. Consequently, we've worked out a system that usually makes us all happy where the kids will get up anytime between about 7 or 8 and come into my bedroom and watch TV. Most of the time this goes just fine without incident until I'm ready to get up around 8 or 8:30. The last thing is that the sibling rivalry between Veronica and Evan has gotten ridiculous. And yesterday afternoon and evening it was almost more than I could take in that department. Evan was busy doing typical boy stuff like calling her "stupid girl" and pushing her off her bike. Veronica tries to be a lot more subtle about things. She's gotten pretty clever in the ways she antagonizes him for a 4 year old. But the tattling and complaining is like nails on a chalkboard. It usually goes a little something like this.

"Mooooommmmmmmm!!"

"What Veronica?"

"Evan said 'busted'!"

Um, seriously?!? So when they went to bed, and I had a chance to relax and see things differently, I said to myself "Tomorrow is going to be a better day!"

Anyway, they both got up this morning at 6:45. Already not off to a good start, but ok. Just lay down, watch TV, and be quiet. A couple minutes before 7, they announced the next program coming up to be Blue's Clues.

Veronica: "I don't want to watch Blue's Clues. I want to watch Martha Speaks."

Evan: (screaming) "No!!!!! I don't want to watch Martha Speaks! I want to watch Blue's Clues!"

At which point the arguing begins. I tried to reason with Evan first. I feel guilty because he gets his way a lot since he tends to be the loudest and most unreasonable. But he wasn't budging, and since it was 7 in the morning and I was in no mood for this, I let him have his way, and I told Veronica she could have her way the next time we had to pick something. She was a little put off, but still she accepted her fate, or so I thought. Did I mention how devious she has gotten?

After a few more minutes go by, and she's had time to rethink her situation, she starts complaining again. So I told her to go in their playroom and watch it on the TV in there. That's apparently not good enough either because that TV doesn't work very well. In her defense, the TV set in there hasn't always been producing the best picture, and sometimes we have to beat it to get it to even work. I didn't want her going downstairs because we've had a couple dogs staying with us, and I knew if she went down there they would think it is time to get up to go outside. So I told her maybe she should read a book. And after a minute spent thinking about it--I could almost see those conniving gears in her head turning--she decided that was a great idea. I really didn't think she was going to go for that idea, so I should have known something was up as soon as she agreed.

About a minute later, she came back with Evan's favorite Thomas the Tank Engine book that, up until a minute ago, she could not have cared less about. After getting settled back in bed, she began looking through the book, making sure the whole time that she got Evan's attention. Well, of course it worked because Evan started pitching a fit saying that was his book and he wanted it, and this time I wasn't giving in. I told him he was going to have to get a different book unless of course Veronica wanted to give it up in exchange for the channel switching to Martha Speaks. Could it be this is the solution that will make everyone happy? Yeah, right! Veronica has something he wants now, and since she was winning, she wasn't about to give that up.

"No," she says. "I don't want to watch Martha Speaks anymore. I want to read this book!"

At which point Evan threw himself on the floor and started screaming, and I realized that maybe I was going to have to wait a little longer for that good day I was hoping for.

Could It Really Be Age Isn't Just A Number?

It all started with the kids. Suddenly I wasn't just young, fun, hip Rhoda anymore. I was a mom! Then I had to get glasses. So now I am a nerdy mom. But you're only as young as you feel, right? The problem is, some days I feel down right old! I'm not sure at what point it hits that you aren't a spring chicken anymore. I don't even mean just the physical stuff, but suddenly you start to think about all the things you meant to accomplish in your life and realize the years are slowly ticking by.

Going back to school this fall is going to interesting. I know I'm going to be the oldest person in my class, or at least very close to it. But who cares? My perspective has been "better late than never"...until I showed up at the school the other day to take my placement exam. I just can't believe how little they all look, and I kept thinking to myself that I really am going to stick out like a sore thumb! It's definitely going to feel a lot more strange than I originally thought.

But here's where it gets good. For me, age has brought a lot of confidence, wisdom, maturity, and just a general awareness of who I am as a person. The kids I will be in class with most likely won't have any of those advantages. No longer am I going to have to sit in class and worry about what everyone thinks of me, or if I'm the class nerd. As a matter of fact, I hope I am the class nerd. Because I'm 34 years old, and I've got to make it count this time.

(OK, just a little side note. I haven't been able to write even this much without being interrupted a million times. This is definitely going to be a challenge as well as good preparation for when I have a ton of homework!)

Although I was one of those that absolutely hated pretty much my whole entire high school experience, I now realize what a small, insignificant part of my life it was. But I loved my twenties (all the parts I remember anyway), and there are many parts of that decade I miss.

So that brings me back to my kids and the glasses. It turns out I don't look half bad in glasses. And it really doesn't bother me to wear them. And I really love my kids, and most days I like them a lot too! And as far as being the oldest "kid" in my class, at least I don't have all those insecurities we all had back in high school. So if someone wants to talk about me behind my back or look at me funny because they wonder what I'm doing there, I say bring it on! Because I've got plenty of life's experiences under my belt that have made me a lot more thick skinned than I was 15 years ago, and it has served me well.

The ABC's Of Life...For Today Anyway

I am challenging myself to write 30 blogs in 30 days. As I prepare myself to get ready to go back to school, I'm trying to get my creative juices flowing. So, for today's installment...

A is for Applications...and the fact that they seem never ending! It's a school thing.

B is for Bloat...and it sucks! There is nothing fun about bloat. It makes you feel constantly full, yet for some reason you can't stop shoving everything in sight in your mouth!

C is for Crazy...as in that's where I feel like I'm going. And that pretty much goes for every day!

D is for Dogs...as in the two that are still here in my house after more than a month, lounging in the same spot on the couch they seem to have claimed as their own. What's wrong with the other couch? This is the one I like! I like to be able to stretch out my legs in my spot on my couch while I type out my blog, but apparently it's too much trouble for them to go lay on the other couch that is rarely used and only five feet away. Whatever!

E is for Eggs...because we're out of cereal. Evan requests cereal every morning for breakfast, and since I'm not really a fan of culinary challenges before coffee, I'm happy to oblige. But since we are out of cereal, and since I have convinced Jon to take 1-2 hardboiled eggs with oatmeal to work every morning instead of greasy, fattening breakfast sandwiches, I feel as though I've been knee-deep in eggs lately.

F is for Flat tire...because I just looked out the window at my car. Great!

G is for Grandmothers...and I think the reason is pretty obvious. But, in this instance it's because the kids and I are especially excited about the summer sleepover at both of the grandmother's houses that will start a new annual tradition.

H is for Hugs and kisses...because I know one day I'm going to wonder why they don't want to constantly dish them out anymore. :(

I is for Ice-cold beer...if you read the rest of this post, you'll know it's a necessary part of the day. And it just tastes damn good!

J is for Jon...it needs no explanation.

K is for Kill...the millions of houseflies that won't leave me alone! Why, what did you think I meant?

L is for Laundry...yeah, constant. Especially if you skip below to letter "P".

M is for Money...because I'd love to be able to have the chance to prove it's not the answer to all my problems.

N is for "No!!"...ummm, don't know why. I guess that one just came to me.

O is for OKAY!...Go eat a cookie, just stop bugging me!!

P is for Potty, Pee Pee, and Poo Poo...does this really need any explanation? These words have unfortunately become a large part of my vocabulary. I have found myself on occasion being out and excusing myself to go "potty", and that has got to stop!

Q is for quiet...not that I would have any idea what that is!

R is for relaxation...because I like to dream (see above).

S is for Summer...and I'm so glad the pool is about to open!

T is for Tired...as in tired of trying to decide what is for dinner, tired of cleaning up messes, tired of refereeing between sibling fights, tired of trying to figure out "what are we going to do something fun today?", etc, etc, etc.

U is for Unbelievable...that you see me sweeping and mopping the kitchen, and you still think it's ok to crumble your potato chips on the floor during lunchtime. Because, oh, I don't know, it's fun?!?

V is for Veronica and evan...who are my life in every sense of the word, but I'm really excited to see how much I'm going to miss them for 2 weeks next month.

W is for Why?...because everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, has to have an explanation.

X is for 'Xpletives...because I fight like 'ell to keep them out of my mouth every day.

Y is for Yea!...Daddy's home!!

Z is for Zoned out...ummm, Evan, are you hearing me?!?