I'm about as independent as they come and always have been that way. So I'm not sure if it has something to do with my personality that has helped my children be that way or if they were just destined to be free spirits, but I have never had any problems with separation anxiety or anything of that sort since they have been born. Throughout the years of daycare, preschool, church sunday school, or babysitters, not only have they not been clingy, but they've often been excited for the "adventure" of something new. Kindergarten was no different, and Veronica had been looking forward to it for months...until Friday. And that was when the first "I miss my mommy!" meltdown began.
The grandparents had come to visit, and both kids were overly excited and fully energized on Thursday night. The crying started at bedtime because, grandparents or not, we were on a schedule. She immediately thought it very unfair that she had to go to bed simply because there was school tomorrow and decided she no longer wanted to go. I think it also added to the problem that I let Evan stay up longer due to the fact that they were sleeping in the same bed while our guests were here, and I thought it would make more sense to allow her to fall asleep before I put Evan in the bed. That, of course, was also VERY unfair! Even after all that, Veronica seemed to be in good spirits the next morning and was happy to have Nana walk with her to the bus stop. Needless to say, I was caught by surprise to get a phone call from the school counselor a couple hours later telling me that Veronica had been crying and upset in class and had to be pulled from the room and calmed down. The counselor was very kind and let me know that all was well, but she wanted to let me know what had happened. Thankfully, the rest of her day went well, and the weekend was upon us.
Saturday I cooked the pork shoulder that I bought previously. Wow, was it good!!! My neighbor was redoing the floors in his house all weekend, and that, combined with the fact that his wife had gone out of town, left him in need of some good food. I offered him some of the pork--it made a TON--and he was extremely happy to take some off my hands. He let me know later that he especially liked the homemade BBQ sauce that I made to go with it. I mixed half the sauce with the meat and left half out for people to put on their sandwiches as needed. Again, if anyone wants the recipe, let me know. It was a crowd pleaser, and I would say a 8-9 pound pork shoulder would amply feed at least 12-14 people, if not more. Not to mention, I only paid about $11 for the meat and the ingredients for the sauce were somewhere around an extra $6-8, maybe less. Add to that the buns, coleslaw, and other side items, and you're looking at a delectable meal for around a couple dollars per person. I'd say that is success!
The weekend was enjoyable, and Jon and I managed to escape for a little grown-up time while we had a cheap, built-in babysitter. The folks left early Monday morning, and although Veronica was upset to see they were gone when she awoke, she didn't let it ruin her morning and had a pretty good day...until last night. At bedtime, the dramatic tears started again, and nothing Jon or I could do would calm her down. We let her cry for a while, and then I finally decided to offer her a small bribe. I told her that if she could be a big girl, calm down, and show me she could bravely face the day tomorrow, I would send extra money for a snack with lunch to school tomorrow. That seemed to work, and she finally calmed down and fell asleep. This morning we immediately began talking about the impending snack. Will it be a cupcake? brownie? crackers? I made a face at the crackers thinking that must pale in comparison to a chocolatey cupcake, but she quickly assured me she really likes the crackers. Far be it for me to talk her out of such a sensible choice. By the way, she ended up choosing the cupcake. Anyway, it seemed all was moving along well until we headed for the bus stop. Our neighbor, one of Veronica's favorite people, was outside getting ready to leave for work and happily greeted Veronica, who returned his greeting with a scowl. She then did the same thing to our other neighbor who waved good morning as we went by. This is not normal behavior for a girl who usually considers herself the president of the welcoming committee. As soon as we got to our stop, she started clinging to my leg and telling me she would miss me. When the bus arrived, so did the full onslaught of tears. I walked her onto the bus--which I've never done until today, not even on the first day--and tried desperately to make her a friend. There was even a girl from her class that said hi as we walked by, but unfortunately she was sitting in a seat made for two that had three little girls in it already. We continued through the bus and found another kindergarten girl that only had one other girl sitting with her, but when I tried to encourage Veronica to sit with her, I was met with horrified looks from all of them. Not only did Veronica not want to sit, she was pitching such a fit that the other girls were hesitant to share their seat. Finally, I gave up and told the driver that I would drive her to school myself. The extra time it took to go back home and get us all together in the car allowed Veronica time to calm down, and she seemed agreeable enough when we got there to go to class with the promise that the school counselor would check on her later that morning.
I know this is a really big adjustment in her life, and I guess I shouldn't have expected to have things go so smoothly all the time. However, once again I have been thrown into one more of the great unknowns of parenting. Not only are so many aspects of this job very challenging, but every child is unique, and that makes it hard to tailor your particular responses to each situation. I was able to talk to the counselor for a few minutes this morning, and she reassured me that she thought I was doing a great job. I think she even used the exact words of "I wish all parents could be more like you." According to her, Veronica seems very happy and well adjusted, and this is just a normal part of adapting to life in school. And of course, the rest of Veronica's day went just fine.
So I guess all in all we're doing pretty well so far. It seems a couple bumps in the road are to be expected, but we've managed to stay on task, and her crying hasn't beat me yet! But, I started thinking as we were walking back from the dramatic episode at the bus stop this morning and Veronica asked me in her whimpering voice, "How much longer do I have to go to school?" I'm thinking, OMG, thirteen more years of this and all it's new and exciting challenges seems a little more than I want to think about either. So I just smiled at her and said, "It's ok, honey. We'll get through it." I'm just trying not to think about the fact that next year I have to send Evan. Only with him, I'm expecting more calls from the principle than the counselor...
