Creativity Is The Sudden Cessation Of Stupidity

creative |krēˈātiv|adjectiverelating to or involving the imagination or original ideas

One of the major things I have discovered in my adult life is that I love all things creative. I always thought we were taught in school that most people were either logically minded or creatively minded. And since I was always really good at math, and for a while there it looked like I might pursue studies in accounting--God help me!--I always thought I was a logical minded person. So although I have always been pretty good at writing, painting, drawing, and things like that, I never really explored that side of myself until I started painting tiles and wall murals. I think that is when something inside me began to wake up, and I felt alive all of a sudden. No wonder I was so bored with the direction of my life thus far.

I have delved into all sorts of avenues along the creative path. I used to think I hated to cook, and as soon as I started getting into it, I realized I had this passion for putting together wonderful dishes for people to enjoy that all had been created by my own hands. I began to learn all the techniques of cooking, what ingredients worked together, and trying new foods I never had before. Sometimes I wouldn't even care about eating my masterpieces. So much of the pleasure came from sitting back and watching how much others enjoyed it.

The last time I was in college, which was over a decade ago, I dropped a psychology class about two days into it only to find that one of the only other things that fit into my schedule to replace it with was a philosophy class. I was not very excited about taking that class because it seemed a lot like a history class to me, and I am not really a fan of history. Who would have known that it would end up being my favorite class? I found the depths of thinking and the challenge to create reasoning where there was none to be exhilarating.

So obviously my most recent obsession is along these same lines. My blog writing started at first as a way to express myself in the grieving of my beloved pets, and then it became an outlet for me to connect with a world I had somewhat cut myself off from in the decision to be with my children all day. And let me say, this is NOT a stab at having to stay home with my kids. Trust me, I have to be creative on a daily basis in continuing to find new and effective ways to deal with them and stimulate their minds. But I have finally found that this is truly where my heart lies. If I didn't want to write blogs or stories or whatever else it may be, I would really love to write songs. But since I never took up the guitar or piano--yet, anyway--I'll leave that up to the professionals.

So as I officially start out n my journey of attempting to be a professional writer, I think if creativity really is the cessation of stupidity, I'm going to try to keep my spot among the intelligent as long as I can.

Beautiful Or Physically Attractive?

"Beauty is unbearable, drives us to despair, offering us for a minute the glimpse of an eternity that we should like to stretch out over the whole of time." --Albert Camus

"Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart." --Kahlil Gibran

People seem to be putting more emphasis on physical attractiveness, and many are going to great lengths to achieve it. I saw kind of a disturbing report on the news this morning that one of the new trends is moms that are undergoing extensive plastic surgery to try to appear as though they are their daughter's twin. I find this to be kind of sick! Even if it doesn't bother your daughter, you have to ask yourself what kind of a message you are sending to her for when she starts to age. Will she be destined to repeat your actions at the sign of her first wrinkle? I also saw another show that had a couple moms on that were pressuring their daughters to undergo plastic surgery. One of the girls was considering it, but the other one didn't even think there was anything wrong with her body image. She thought she was beautiful the way she was, and her mom just kept drilling into her head how much she needed just a little nip here and tuck there. Whatever happened to your mom being at least the one person who would always think you were beautiful no matter what?

Ironically though, this is a subject that has been plaguing me lately for a couple of different reasons. The first is how this exact thing has affected my life as I journey through the years that continue to age me. That first quote by Camus is interesting to me because when you think about it, you spend all these years growing and maturing as a child, then you get a couple of good years in between that and the ones spent struggling to "maintain" for the rest of your life. I'm not afraid to say I feel as though I was a very physically attractive person in my 20's. Don't get me wrong, I was no supermodel. But I did enjoy many of the advantages of being an attractive woman. I've watched many heads turn my way on the street, had many drinks bought for me in a bar, had people in stores bend over backwards to help me, and so on. It may sound as though I am really full of myself, but I promise I'm not. I really am just stating how it is, and all you girls out there that are the same know that I'm right. But after having a couple of children and aging into my mid-30's, it's becoming harder and harder to recognize that person I used to be. I don't really see that many heads turning my way anymore, and clothes don't always hang on me quite as perfectly as they used to. However, I have come to the realization that I am becoming a much more beautiful person on the inside as I mature and continue to improve the "Rhoda" that lives within my soul. Before you start feeling sorry for me, just know I don't find myself physically unattractive...yet. But I'm not as young as I used to be, and I never will be as young as I am today. And like they say, in the end, you can't take it with you. So at some point you really do have to remember that beauty is only skin deep, and are you really going to waste all that time, money, and effort into preserving that?

The second point that has cause for me to be concerned with this subject is I want to make sure that I am projecting the best body image and sense of high self-esteem onto my daughter. I am thrilled with the fact that she is one of the most beautiful little girls I have ever seen. However, I have no way of knowing how she will mature physically, and kids can be really mean...and that's just getting her through school! My dream for my precious daughter is for her to grow into an independent, confident, beautiful woman, and I think if I can instill in her the first two, the third will be there no matter what.

This world has turned into such a shallow and materialistic place, and we have to remember that we are all only here for a short time. I for one don't want to spend my time only trying to look better. I hope that one day I can be remembered for something great I did or a profound statement I made and not just a pretty face. Besides when you think about it, a pretty face is really just either something you are born with or something you can buy, and it really doesn't seem like that much of an accomplishment at all.

So you have to ask yourself...is it more important to be physically attractive or just be downright BEAUTIFUL? Because even the best plastic surgeons can't fix your outer beauty forever.

A Crazy Love Story

I'm not exactly sure when it happened, but I remember the moment that I finally realized I had fallen in love with Jon. Some have tried to tell me they knew long before I did, but I swear that up until that moment, I really was thinking that one day we would find him a nice girl that was not me!

My best friend Pam had a side business--well, she still does actually--doing hand-painted ceramic tiles. I had cut my hours at work down to 3 days a week, so I needed something to turn my attention to that wasn't staying home and cleaning house. We decided that we would get together every Wednesday and paint tiles at her house. She taught me the ropes, and, as it turns out, I was a pretty good artist. And of course we always had a blast! After a while we decided to challenge ourselves, so we paid for booth space at the Ocean City Sunfest. We spent countless hours painting a ton of stuff that we never sold--that's another blog for another day--but we found that people did seem to like our stuff because we were able to sell some special order pieces. Lots of people were asking us if we had a store or a studio they could come visit to check out our things. So we began to dream and think about how cool it would be to open up a store.

Of course we couldn't afford to open a store, but after attending a wedding at the Savage Mill in Laurel, I saw a sign advertising studio space for rent so I decided to check it out. It turned out that the rent was pretty inexpensive, and it seemed as though we could actually make this work. So we rented the space and decided we would commit to having hours in the studio 3 days per week.

It didn't take us long on our move in day to discover the Ram's Head. OK, I'm lying. The fact that the Ram's Head was right next to us was pretty much one of the best selling points. Anyway, after exhausting ourselves painting and moving, we made our way to the bar to treat ourselves to a beer. Pam and I are the kind of people where we seem to make friends everywhere we go, and the Ram's Head was no exception. Right away we met Jon because at that time he was the weekday bartender in the tavern, and we often went there for "lunch." He quickly became one of our favorite people. I was not initially attracted to Jon physically, but he had so many terrific qualities in his personality, and I always had so much fun when we would hang out together. Pam and I always told Jon how much we loved him and couldn't understand why he didn't have a girlfriend. So we made it our mission to find a "nice girl" for him, and he was all for it.

It soon got to the point where Jon had become such a good friend of mine that we were almost always together. Most of the time Pam was my constant companion, but since she couldn't always be there to hang out with me, Jon was quickly becoming my other party pal. I began to hear from people that Jon had developed feelings for me, but I just thought "Join the club! He'll get over it." I know, I was somewhat conceited back then.

This went on for a while until one night Pam and I decided that we were going to hang out on a Friday night down in the Rathskellar because Jon had picked up a shift down there for someone. So we figured we would hang out down there to keep him company...and pretty much because we never paid for anything when he served us. I had a previous obligation so Pam had already been there for a little bit by the time I got there. As soon as she saw me, she launched into an account of how she met a girl who she thought would be perfect for Jon. If you recall, up until now that had been our big mission. She wasted no time introducing us and instructed me to observe the chemistry between the two of them when they would talk across the bar. First of all, let me say--and I'm sure Pam would even admit this now--there was absolutely NO chemistry between them. Secondly, Jon really did have a huge crush on me, and I'm positive he wasn't really thinking about being with anyone else at that point even though I really don't know that for sure. And thirdly, I found myself very confused about a situation that I was not happy about, but I couldn't figure out why. I was not being very friendly to the "chosen" girl, and Pam was giving me grief about that because she couldn't figure out what my problem was. I kept telling her I just didn't think they were right together at all, and I felt like I knew him better.

Now, when I say I was confused, I really was confused. I had no intentions of ever being with Jon. I had never thought of him as anything except a great friend, and I didn't know where all these mixed up feelings were coming from--and I'm usually pretty sure of myself. I remember sitting there with Pam asking me what my problem was, and I was thinking to myself "Yeah, why am I being such a bitch?" And of course that's when I understood. All of a sudden I started looking at Jon funny, and I realized what my heart had known, but my brain was struggling to catch up.

There came a point where we all had to leave. Jon left ahead of us, and I had no idea where he went. Suddenly it became the most important thing in the world for me to find him. I kept trying to call him, and he wasn't answering. I was at the mercy of my ride, so all I could do was continue to frantically call him over and over and hope that at some point he would answer or get one of my messages. He must have known where we were going because as soon as we arrived at our destination, Jon was standing there waiting for us. I remember to this day how much my heart soared as soon as I saw him there. I don't think I've ever been more excited to see anyone in my life.

Needless to say, we shared our first kiss that night, and I've never looked back. Jon and I spent months cultivating a wonderful friendship before that night, and I think there's something to be said for being in love with your best friend. To this day, I'm thrilled to have him in my life, and he is still one of my favorite people to hang out with. We have certainly come a long way since that night, but the one thing that hasn't changed is our friendship, respect, and deep love for each other.

Mission completed.