Day ???- Not Sure, and Don't Care (repost)

This is one of those rare blogs where I won't write about the mundane life.  But you will get a small glimpse inside me...like it or not.  This past week has been all kinds of crazy for me.  My semester started and quickly took more of me than I was prepared to give.  I knew I had to make some adjustments quick, but the fact still remains that sometimes I step outside my life and wonder when I got here.  Don't get me wrong...I wouldn't trade a thing.  I love my husband more than ever, and my children are the biggest blessing I've ever been given.  This life is something I've never thought I deserved or would ever have, but I'm thankful I've found myself here.  But what exactly does that mean...

I'm someone who is always looking deep into the philosophical meaning of things, but I find religion hard to grasp.  That's another blog for another day, but suffice to say that I'm constantly searching for the meaning of life.  Anyway, it's 1 o'clock in the morning, and I'm listening to some inspiring music after watching one of my favorite movies, "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind."  I think I've come a long way, and I'm confident in the fact that I'm raising 2 wonderful children.  However, I don't feel that far removed from the mixed up girl that once felt eerily similar to the girl in the movie.

"Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive.  But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's looking for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours."

So much of this quote makes me hurt, but at the same time rejoice because I've moved past this point.  Basically, I think I've finally found my peace of mind, and the only reason I'm sharing this online is because I don't actually think anyone is reading this.

Anyway, happy anniversary to the one guy that has been able to stick with me through the attitude and everything else.  I once trusted no one and saw myself being able to not be with anyone for the rest of my life.  Now I am with Jon and my 2 children, and I can't imagine who I am without any of them.  I'm not sure which is worse...